My Thoughts on Budhism and Right Action

The 3 Lamas at Yonghe Lamasery in Beijing

A Brief Background About Me

 I was never a religious person, or a believer in any sense of the word; if people ask me what my religious affiliation is I tell them it is the same as my political affiliation: none, because I think it is all BS. I don't believe in a higher power, an afterlife, or anything of the sort. What I do believe in, and where I place my faith now as always, is humanity. I believe, rightly or wrongly, that all people are inherently good, I believe all people throughout time are my brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, friends and lovers. Because of my belief in humanity I want to spread the happiness and joy that I feel when I look at this beautiful world around me to everyone else on this planet. I want to spread such positive feelings because I sincerely believe that we only have one chance at life, and that when people talk about heaven and hell what they are actually talking about is their current state of existence on earth. I believe that heaven and hell are very real; I believe we create our own heaven and hell right here on this Earth. Due to this, I believe it is imperative that people seek to create a state of heaven right here, right now, on this Earth, not just for themselves, but for all of humanity.

I think a great mode of thought for explaining my beliefs to my fellow humans is Buddhism. I have always enjoyed Buddhism as it does not require a belief in a higher power, daily worship, proselytization, donation, blind obedience or any of those other things which I despise in many religions. All it requires, is right action; all it requires is that one act with love in their heart toward all beings.  

What follows are my thoughts on Buddhism as derived from what I have learned during my time in China. I have met and spoken with many Buddhists, both practicing and not, as well as many Buddhist priests. I spent time gathering information on how the Chinese people perceive Buddhism and have used such knowledge to formulate my own thoughts on the matter. This is a brief version of what I have discovered.

The Matreiya Buddha at Yonghe Lamasery in Beijing

On The Buddha and One's Capacity to Achieve the Buddha-nature

The Buddha is not a single individual that existed as a historical personage known as Siddhartha Guatama, nor does Buddha even mean a group of individuals who achieved enlightenment by forsaking the material world; Buddha is a word meaning the divine nature as manifested through the knowledge of the infinite and ultimate present that exists in every individual person throughout time.

The capacity to achieve the Buddha-nature is inherent within each of us, and such recognition comes when a person is able to perceive the world clearly through their third eye, which is the mind. The greatest obstacle to to recognizing our inherent ability to achieve the Buddha-nature is the false belief that we are in control of our own minds. Our thoughts, as derived from our minds, are shaped by the world around us, which is a false reality built upon the backs of many false realities that have been constructed prior to our births. Where ever we are born, we are born into an ancient falsehood which we then recreate, forming a vision of reality that we believe to be correct, though it is far from the ultimate truth. Such a version of reality only reinforces our ignorance of the ultimate truth and creates a hubris in us in that we believe we may know any truth at all.

In our ignorance, we perceive thoughts and senses as gifts through which to view reality, but in truth, such things only cloud what is the ultimate truth by allowing an individual to build and perceive a false reality which they then use to separate themselves from others. The greatest aspect of achieving the Buddha-nature may be the we will finally realize that we are all one, one people, one soul, living together within the heart of the universe. The greatest period of humanity will be ushered in when a majority of people are able to achieve their Buddha-nature and recognize that we are all a single consciousness experiencing itself subjectively.

Yet, to achieve what is here being referred to as the Buddha-nature we must come to the understanding that to possess true knowledge of reality we must access, and exist within, the divine present. Existing in a permanent state of the present is a daunting and alarming proposition, for we must forsake much in life to do so; culture, nationality, religion, possession, recognition, wealth, none of these matter in the immediate present. Though we may be fearful of forsaking such things, all people recognize deep in their minds that such things are fruitless and ultimately matter not, yet fear keeps them from accepting this fact.

Such knowledge, although inherent in all individuals, is not manifest in most; this is because the designs of the flesh do not allow us to experience life as our divine-selves, but only as our mortal-selves. The mortal-self is that self which we act through day to day, wherein our minds are clouded by false thoughts, and our actions only work to further ourselves or those we perceive as close to us. The divine-self is what we may act as once we have achieved the Buddha-nature, wherein our minds are not clouded by thought so that we are able to perceive that reality only exists within the present, and that in the divine present everything is one.

Unfortunately, the state of being which is here being referred to as the mortal-self, is the state of being that the vast majority of people who have ever lived have existed in from birth to death, for their minds were clouded by thought, which is derived from our mortality and false sense of understanding; this blocks our access to the direct and ultimate present, which is the divine present. Only through access to our mind, which we in our frailty believe we have always been and always will be in control of, may we achieve the Buddha-nature and thereby access our divine-selves. All human beings posses the capacity to achieve such, yet due to circumstances, fear and false knowledge, we are unable to access the divine-self.

When we realize that all exists only in the mind in the divine present, then attachment to life and suffering will finally be extinguished. But such a realization is hard to accept, for again, in our frailty, we believe in past and future, good and evil, and that we understand the world around us. What we do not realize is that as the universe is infinite, so is our misunderstanding of it. The only thing we may truly understand is ourselves, and we may only understand ourselves in the present, for the present in the only place in which we, or anything else, exists.

Entrance Gate to the Yonghe Lamasery in Beijing

On Right Action Versus Right Though

In the beginning there was only the word; man did not hear the word, thus those who spoke were forced to act.

Seeking god through knowledge will not lead to the ultimate knowledge of god; seeking the love of god in thought will not lead to the ultimate love of god. Only when we seek the knowledge of god and the love of god in action will we come to experience god, not as an outward being, but as an inward expression of our very selves.

To achieve oneness with god, that is, to live with and within the knowledge of god, will only come when we realize that we are the very thing we speak of when we speak of god. God exists internally; outward manifestations of god are simply a want or desire for what we perceive as the highest manifestations of ourselves, those selves being divine and not encumbered by mortality.

Yet only by accepting our mortality will we gain the knowledge necessary for the final transformation of our mortal selves into our divine selves. For with this understanding comes the understanding of the emptiness of material life and the oneness with life that we may achieve that exists only in the infinite and ultimate present.

Reality exists only in the here and now, nothing escapes the bonds of this ultimate present save our thoughts; the very thoughts which separate us from god and our fellow human beings by building a false reality in which be believe we have access to the truth, the truth of ourselves, of life, of god. This truth does not exist in reality; reality exists only in the divine and ultimate present. Past and future exist naught but in our minds, as does the after life.

There is only the present life, and in that present life we may come to find, through right action not right thought, that we human beings are, collectively, god. Through right action we may begin to perceive clearly what lies slumbering in hearts of all humankind; we are all one, one in flesh and blood, one in heart and mind, one in ignorance of the truth, one in the ability to transcend our former selves and become our god selves. Through right action we experience the longed for oneness with god; a wholly internal experience in which we will realize that we are all god.

The god self that we can come to experience in ourselves will awaken us to on of the greatest truths of existence, and we will finally comprehend that the nature of god is simply the purest nature of man. This god self, or purest nature of man, is within the grasp of all people through out time, yet few ever gain access to it. This is so because few ever take the time to follow the path of right action to the knowledge of god. We must not believe that right thought will ever lead us anywhere; the cruelest atrocities have been committed when people thought they were committing good. Only right action will lead to the manifestation of the knowledge of the love of god, and of god.

When we believe that right thought is the ultimate path to the knowledge of god we will begin to fight with, and separate ourselves, from our fellow human beings. This is because we believe that we are right, and they are not. When we believe that right action is the only path that will lead to the ultimate knowledge of god, such barriers will break down because the only thing that will matter to us is the right action, and the thoughts that allowed the individual to arrive at the conclusion of right action being the ultimate path will be superfluous to the right action itself.

In right action within the ultimate present we are acting out god’s plan, which is the plan of our divine selves, whereby we act with the ultimate level of love, compassion, concern, caring and responsibility for our fellow human beings. Through right action within the ultimate present, we will slowly realize that what we perceived as god has existed as a potential state of being within us, always. It is the achievement of this state of being that is of ultimate concern, for it is this state that allows us to transcend our mortal selves and become our divine selves.

The Giant Buddha of Leshan

Conclusion

Those are my thoughts on Buddhism and spirituality as I see it, and though I may never achieve access to my Buddha-nature, I do try to employ right action in my life as opposed to right thought as I have previously done wrong when thinking I was doing right. All of these thoughts have been coming to me more and more as I get older, and although I am no religious man or believer in god by any means, I do understand the value that coming to a deeper level of spirituality may have for my life. Spirituality for me is as simple as viewing a piece of fine art that connects with me on an emotional level, and as deep as opening up to someone I am in an intimate relationship with and thereby coming to know them and myself more deeply. I love this world, I love life, I love Beijing, and spirituality for me is sharing that love with my fellow humans. I don't really have much more to say about this subject for now, as I am honestly a bit uncomfortable about opening up in such a public forum, but to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves we must share our thoughts and experiences with others. As always I hope you have enjoyed reading.

Two Monks on a stroll in the Forbidden City

Very Short Stories Concerning Parties Not Present (a series of poems written in and about Beijing)

On Coming Forth by Day

She found him in the garden, dying. He lay on the steps of his master's thoughts drawn to the extreme. With nowhere left to go, he returned home; she knew to look for him there. He didn’t see her because he couldn’t see; he didn’t feel her with his heart, either (that had died long before). The moon rose backwards that day, and the sun spun around the horizon as she peeled back the layers of years surrounding his soul until there he stood, naked before that tiny intangible thing we keep hidden in a little box beneath the altar of life, known as love. He bathed in her tears as they held each other bodily, never again separating.

Concerning the Past or What Has Been Will Not Be

When he thought about the books he called his own, that sat at his parents house collecting dust, his mind always wandered to a particular passage in a particular book hidden amongst the larger and more well known tomes in his collection. It was written by a man who spoke Aramaic in addition to Manchurian, and in it the man often reminisced of the precise physical and chemical arrangements within the cores of certain stars necessary for the creation of elements required to form proteins. His life was never quite the same after he began to forget that passage his mind once often turned to.

On Linear Continuity Excluding Actors Prostitutes and Unclean Tradesmen

It was a Sunday when the Emperor died. Later that day they named a new Emperor. On Monday, the bakers baked their bread and the fish mongers recited their wares to passersby; only the prostitutes wore a darker shade of lipstick, and the actors heavier mascara, until they too, forgot about whomever it was they were mourning.

Arrived Promptly at Dawn

After they met it always seemed that the moon was a little bit bigger on weeknights, and the red of envelopes and leaves was just slightly more vibrant after the first cold autumn wind. That same wind still tore though the Hutongs with its usual bitter vengeance and the eggs in moon cakes would always taste funny, but the bats never flew quite as high over Beijing after they had left.

It was a Tuesday when he parted from his mistress (the city, that is, lest he misrepresent himself) for the last time, leaving with that woman who would later become his wife if only he could master the aggregate of human knowledge before the next predicted apocalypse. She told him 'abracadabra' was Hebrew for 'I create what I think', and that he was (maybe is) the only thing holding himself back. It was also a Tuesday when he met life walking upon his path.

Before they grew old and died they saw the world together, they were humbled by lives carved of hardship and houses built of straw and mud. They would rest only occasionally, as they imagined a pause in life would lead to greater consequences. Curiously though, they often found solace in those most silent and still moments under the stars when the nocturnal world begins to slumber, yet while the day still sleeps.

Reflections in the Landscape

No towering skyscrapers sat glittering in the moonlight beyond their windows; only dull and gray apartment buildings like theirs littered the horizon towards the mountains. They lived on the edge of the world, as the city was their world –it was all they knew besides each other. And there it was that a life began to grow into memories; fondness faded into love, and thoughts, great and small, were born into reality.

The Last Empire

It was the early morning when they arrived at Jiangguomen, as they had gone to work quite quickly that day (for some misanthropic reason, no doubt). It always seemed to the locals that these four boys possessed a deeper, nefarious purpose; all they wanted, though, was to simply be. It was not until years later that the one of them who remained in Beijing realized that he had been lost in the culture of it all, and had forgotten what color her eyes were.

Through Geometrically Aligned Back Alleys

It is quite well known that the drink of choice purveyors of fine alcohols in Beijing wish to level upon their foreign clients is, in fact, the mojito. It is a lesser known fact that outside the city of Beijing during the mid-autumn festival there are more fireflies than in any other place in the world. And it is only known by few that the large, manhole cover like device, in the basement of a particular store near Beixinqiao subway station conceals a very ancient well, home to some antediluvian wyrm.

Epilogue

 

I have written these short poems over the course of about a year while living in this lovely city I affectionately refer to as The End of The World, for as in that dream like vision in the mind of the narrator of Hard Boiled Wonderland, I sometimes feel that this place exists only in my head. These poems represent the city of Beijing as seen through my heart, which more so than the mind can be seen to represent the 3rd eye Mr. Gautama once urged humanity to open. But even more than that, I cannot say that I see the city through my heart because I like to believe that I exist in the heart of Beijing, so it may be more fitting to say that these feelings which I have translated into words are the love children of myself and my mistress, the beautiful world capital known as Beijing. 

This series was inspired by the writings of Alex Epstein and his style of writing that he deems micro-prose which I stumbled onto quite fortuitously several years ago. His book, Blue Has No South, is a thoughtful and amazing work that I can only imagine strikes the heart much more deeply when read in the original Hebrew. Mr. Epstein's style of writing inspired me to write in a similar fashion, and what better subject matter than that place which I now call home?

My first love in this life was the written word for which I have had a great passion since childhood; it fills my heart with such purpose and love that I now have a platform with which I may share my poetry with the world. Thank you for your time, I hope that you have enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it. 

-Joseph

A Brief Guide About Stuff I Wish I Knew Sooner

 

I am staying here in China, maybe not Beijing forever, but China most definitely. I love it here, there is just something about the people, culture and language that excites and invigorates my soul; maybe I was Chinese in a past life? But seriously, this place is my home; America is my country, but China is most certainly my home. But in the past China did not feel the same way as I do, or, the government didn't feel the same way as I do, because it seemed like they were doing everything to make getting a visa and staying here legally as hard as possible. I have something like 15 Chinese visas in my old passport, so many that I had to get a new damn passport altogether, and I have been to Hong Kong about a dozen times just to get a new visa. They couldn't defeat me, though! I am still here and I am still standing, and I am planning on keeping it that way.

So for those fellow expats of mine that wish to stay here indefinitely, or at least for an extended period of time, I wanted to pen a brief article about a couple of things that have made my life here in Beijing a bit easier. And, as I've said before, any products or services I speak about within this article are those which I have personally used and found helpful; I have not, nor shall I in the future, receive any pay, preferential treatment or discounted services for speaking about any company or product in my posts. I am writing about these things simply because I like them.

VPN's

 

First thing's first, a VPN. Every discerning foreigner in Beijing certainly needs a VPN, be it for Facebook, Netflix, Gmail, porno (you can't lie to me...) or anything else our laowai hearts may desire, we need one. It's a bit silly that the government blocks so much of the internet here in China, I mean hell, even Blogger is blocked, but it is the reality of life in China so if you want to access the outside world, you need a VPN.

Personal Experience

When I first moved to Beijing I used PandaPow VPN, which I would generally recommend (but stay tuned for some free options in a few paragraphs) as the connection was always stable (except for about a month but they extended my membership to compensate) and they had a wide variety of servers to connect to which comes in really handy when watching Netflix (as a brief aside, TV show and film rights are cheaper in Northern Europe as opposed to the US or UK, so if your favorite show or movie isn't on Netflix anymore, try switching your IP address to Finland or Norway, chances are they will have it). PandaPow was great, it works across Mac, Windows and Android (sorry fellow Linux users) and was 84USD for a year. They even have a router for sale with a built in VPN now for 99USD A year, which I kind of want to buy now that I've seen it.

What My Friends Love

Next up is Astrill, which I have never used personally but many of my friends have it and they love it, plus it supports Linux. My buddy J has been using it for almost four years here in Beijing and in that entire time he only complained about a lack of connectivity once. I go over to his house often and we watch Always Sunny and Rick and Morty, and Astrill always provides us with an impressively fast and lag free connection. Here is the real kicker though: Astrill defeats deep packet inspection, doesn't keep logs and accepts bitcoin, meaning your internet history will be known to none, so you can do whatever the hell you want without fear of anyone (the government) invading your privacy. Not only does Astrill value privacy, the VPN works across Mac, Windows, Linux, Android, smart TV's, Apple TV and on Boxee. A subscription is 70USD per year and their VPN routers start at 50USD. You know what, screw PandaPow, I would say go for Astrill, unless of course, you want a free VPN.

The Free Stuff

There are two well known VPN's that are made specifically to circumvent the Great Firewall and provide unfettered internet access to those within Mainland China, as well as Iran, Russia, Belarus and Cuba: they are Freegate and Ultrasurf. Now, these projects exist to provide people stuck behind enemy lines access to US based IP address, simple enough, right? That means that while user security is a high priority, they do log your data and restrict access to illegal content, meaning no porno. I know, I know, pure insanity! But both of these services are free and quite reliable, and they don't know about every porn site out there, so remember boys and girls, there is a way around everything. I would say download these two just to have them, they're free, so why not?

In addition to the four VPN's I have spoken about, there are literally a million others made specifically for use in China, such as HideMyAss,  ExpressVPN, VyprVPN and TorGuard. So before you make a purchase remember to research all of your options thoroughly to find the VPN that will work best for you. And while all of these VPN's are pretty great, after doing research for this article I would really suggest going with Astrill, all my friends that use it swear by it, and it works for Linux!

The Not So Sexy Sex Stuff

 

One thing that no one, foreigners or locals, ever told me about when I first came to China was the birds and the bees. And no I don't mean the talk, already had that, and no I don't mean about picking up Chinese chicks, already gots me a girl, I mean about condoms, STD tests, birth control and abortions. We are all well versed, I hope, about pregnancy and STD prevention in our countries of origin, but in China these sort of things can often be tricky, and not just because Chinese people rarely talk about sex. When I worked at my last job and would hang out with all of the local guys, they would never ever ever talk about sex, mostly about video games and basketball, it was mind blowing! Among my foreign friends it seems like sex is all we ever talk about; cultural differences I guess... But because of the general lack of information on such less than savory topics I wanted to offer up what I know to my fellow expats. Here we go.

STD's and Condoms

Please for god's sake use condoms. I know that they suck, and I know you wouldn't put a plastic bag on your head so why would you want to put one on your Johnson? Because nobody likes an unexpected pregnancy, and because everybody hates STDs. So be safe, please please please, be safe. STD's are not hugely prevalent in China like they are in America (in my home city something like 1 in 4 people had an STD, scary stuff), but they do exist; China is home to all of the classics, like HIV/AIDs, hepatitis, herpes and syphilis. One of the problems with the spread of STD's in Chins is the lack of sex education in public schools which is utterly deplorable, coupled with the beliefs that many Chinese people hold concerning STD's, like the one time a local friend told me AID's only affects foreigners because he had never met a Chinese person with AID's. I wanted to smack him right in the mouth for that idiocy! Both of those beliefs are far from true: in 2014 alone the rate of AIDs cases increased 15% (source). Not only is HIV/AIDs on the rise, but the rate of syphilis increased almost 20 times from 1990 to 1998, gonorrhea rates tripled in that time and the incidence of STD contractions outside of marriage shot up from 55%  in 1995 to 72% in 1998 (source).

What does all of this mean? Possibly that abstinence is our only hope? No, never, abstinence sucks! What this means is that you need to remember to use protection, guys and girls alike, and that you should maybe avoid one night stands and try to get to know the person first. Now I know what you're thinking: "Joe, get to know the person first? When did this blog become a lesson in Amish morality?". Look, all I'm trying to do is keep my fellow foreigners safe in China and give you relevant information so you can make informed decisions. If you want to troll the clubs of Sanlitun looking for dudes or chicks to bang-a-rang, I am not going to try and stop you, but I would have say you may not live as long as most.

Let's get right down to it: Durex and Okamoto are the two brands of condoms I would recommend purchasing in China. What I would really recommend is bringing condoms from home or stocking up in Japan or Hong Kong, but if you have to buy them in the Mainland, these are the brands I personally use and trust. Okamoto are my normal go-to brand; I buy them off Taobao from sellers with good reviews that have selling condoms for a long time. Some of their condoms do run a bit small (I am not trying to brag, they just are honestly kind of tight), so check out a few different versions to find the right fit, so to speak. As well, they make non-latex condoms for anyone that may be allergic and they are super thin for enhanced pleasure (I know there's a joke in there somewhere but I am drawing a blank, dammit). Oh, before I forget, 避孕套 (bì yùn tào) is condom in Chinese.

Onto Durex, which are easily the most ubiquitous Western brand of condom in China. If you haven't seen Durex for sale, you've obviously never been in a 7-11, Full Time CVS, Carrefour, BHG or pharmacy in Beijing. They are everywhere and easily available. I would suggest purchasing them from a chain retailer such as Carrefour or 7-11, as the chance of buying counterfeit condoms from international chain stores is much lower than if you buy them from some random convenience store or that guy that sells cigs and rubbers across from Muse on Dirty Bar Street in between the north and south village. Either way, when you buy a new pack make sure to crack one open and test it out. Fill it up with a ton of water in the sink, blow it up and tie some balloon animals, stretch it over your shoe; just make sure that it is going to be up to snuff.

But, as always, be very careful when purchasing condoms anywhere in China as counterfeits are rife, and you never want to put anything counterfeit on your head, either of them.

Birth Control Pills

Next up let's talk about birth control pills and the morning after pill, both of which are available OTC in China. This is the way things should be as a government has no right to legislate what a woman can or can't do with her own body; as a body belongs to an individual, so should the individual have full control over the functions of their body. OK, enough of my political spiel, but I think that is just common sense truth.

I honestly don't know too much about birth control/abortion pills in China as I am a man, and my girlfriend and I just use condoms. What I do know is what I have heard from close female Chinese friends about counterfeit birth control products and their subsequent horror stories. Such medication is not something to be fooled around with or taken lightly as they can potentially and irreversibly damage the uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes, and counterfeit medicines will do just that. A common complaint from guys in the US about their girlfriends is that their girlfriends say they don't want to go on the pill because they are "allergic", but allergic or not it's their body so it's their decision. A similar complaint about Chinese women could be that they refuse to take the pill because of the problem with counterfeit medications in China and their fear of damaging their reproductive organs, which is something that being true or not, should be taken seriously.

Counterfeit birth control and abortion pills can potentially destroy a woman's reproductive capabilities by causing severe uterine scarring or permanently damaging the ovaries. I cannot stress this enough to both guys and girls: only use such medication that you know to be legitimate. But where can you find the good stuff? I would suggest getting it from a Western hospital, such as one of the many United Family Hospitals, which are Western run hospital that employ foreign (US) trained doctors or Chinese doctors trained in foreign medical practices; I will get into this more in a bit. I would honestly say just stick to condoms, as that is probably the safest option for anyone. If you would like to use birth control pills, consult a Western physician or a close and trusted female Chinese friend that has used such products before.

STD Tests and Hospitals

Now, Beijing offers all foreigners the courtesy of a standard STD test when getting that god awful medical check up for a Z visa. But I have asked and I don't think it is a full STD test, in fact that doctors didn't know themselves, all they knew was that if a foreigner tests positive for HIV/AIDs they will not be issued a Z visa. If you want a real STD test, I would once again recommend the United Family Hospital system, for several reasons.

In China, there is no such thing as doctor patient confidentiality, doctors do not take nor are they bound by the Hippocratic Oath, and it only takes five years of schooling to become a medical doctor. I don't mean any offense to the Chinese medical system, actually I do mean some, but the practice of medicine in this country is quite lack luster and leaves a lot to be desired. That isn't to say that Chinese hospitals are all bad, if you have a simple cold, a broken bone, or need an MRI, Chinese hospitals are fairly adept at treating such and are significantly cheaper than their Western counterparts. In fact, I broke my foot back in October while on vacation in the US. To get an MRI there would have been about 1000USD as I do not have insurance, but when I came back home and got an MRI here it was less than 800Rmb; huge difference.

Sorry about the tangent, let's get back to why you shouldn't use a Chinese hospital for something like an STD test, or any other sensitive medical procedure. Chinese doctors do not take a Hippocratic Oath nor do they respect doctor patient confidentiality. This means that if someone does take an STD test at a Chinese hospital, and god forbid, tests positive for HIV/AIDs, the hospital will inform the government and that persons' visa will be immediately revoked. So for your own personal privacy and the sake of your visa, always get tested at a Western hospital. It will be a bit more expensive, but at the end of the day it is worth the price.

Abortions

The same goes for abortions, which I would hope are unnecessary as you should be using birth control in all honesty, but if someone needs one they should always seek to have such a procedure preformed at a Western hospital. Again, this is something I can't really speak to as my girlfriend and I practice safe sex, and I hate the thought of having a child so I do everything I can to prevent pregnancy, but I would suggest asking a close and trusted female Chinese friend, searching on Google for what Western hospitals perform abortions, or ringing up United Family to see what they have to say on the subject. Whatever the case, be safe; having an abortion performed by unqualified medical personnel can possibly result in irreversible, painful or even life threatening damage.

As well, ladies, always use Western hospitals for your gynecological needs. If you want to hear a real horror story about doctor patient rapport and painful examinations, ask a Chinese girl about her last trip to the Chinese gynecologist.

Visa's and Visa Services

This is a subject that I really could have used a crash course in when I first arrived in China as my visa nightmares started almost immediately. For a series of idiotic reasons I had to change my visa about a month after I arrived, luckily I was able to do it here in Beijing, but that usually isn't the case and I only got that lucky once. Like most people, every other time I need a visa I had to do what we seasoned visa holders affectionately refer to as "The Great Visa Run" down to Hong Kong.

My Experience

The Visa Office at Harbour Dr. and Fleming Rd.

The first time I went down to Hong Kong I was a bright eyed young expat with no real clue about what I needed to do to get a visa. I mean, I looked on Google, but the information was vague at best and I was really only left with more questions after I did some research. All I knew was that I had to go to the Chinese Consular Department Office in Hong Kong (right by Wan Chai Subway Station) with my passport and 2 passport photos. When I got there it was complete chaos, there were tons of panicky people running around with even less of a clue than I had about how to renew a Chinese visa. But I just stayed calm, filled out the visa application form, turned in my passport, paid 1100 damn HKD, and came back in a few days to pick up my passport with my brand new visa. Easy peasy. What I had wish I'd known earlier was that there are about 25 million visa services that will do all of this for you for an additional fee. Really quickly before we go on, visa fees vary by nationality, with Americans paying the most for a new visa, you can view the full price list here.

Forever Bright

After I needed to go to Hong Kong for like the 10th time to get a visa I figured I would avoid the hassle and just use a visa service to take care of everything. I searched online and found a lot of different options, some shadier than others, but then I heard from a friend about a visa service she used and was very happy with, Forever Bright. Don't mind the ridiculous sounding name, they are a professional service with English speaking employees, who are actually pretty snooty, but also very helpful. I have used them for my Z visas and for that service they charge 400HKD for a 4 day return, 700HKD for a 2 day return, and I forget exactly how much but around 2000-3000HKD for a same day return if you submit your passport to them before 9:30am. This service is very handy if you need to get back to China quickly for work, but I would suggest taking a few days to see the city and going with the 4 day service so you can have some fun in Hong Kong.

Don't let the visa run to Hong Kong scare or intimidate you; it is something that most of us will end up doing and is sort of a right of passage for expats in China. The first time will honestly be a little nerve racking, but after you have been in China for a few years you will basically become a visa expert. You know what, I'll right a post about the whole process in the near future, so keep a look out!

The Dragon's Tale 

 

No, not as in chasing the dragon; what I mean by this is that we have to come to the end of our brief guide to stuff I wish I knew about living in China sooner. Maybe some of the stuff on the list may be common sense, or known by a lot of expats, and I hope it is, because I was pretty lost concerning the above when I was fresh off the boat. I had a VPN, but didn't know much about their purpose of function, I had no idea where to buy condoms, how to get an STD test, what to do in Hong Kong for a visa; I was a hopeless Tim Budong. So I truly hope that I have been able to help out or provide you with any sort of relevant information. I also hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! If you like what I am doing, hate what I am doing, have any suggestions, criticisms or critiques, please comment on this or any article and let me know. Thanks for reading. Now if you will excuse me, I am off to buy some alligator at Walmart.

What's it Like to Live in China: My Musings (Part 1)

This is probably the most common question that I am asked by friends and family back home, and by newly arrived foreigners here in Beijing. So, what is it like to live in China? I don't know, I have only ever lived in Beijing so I honestly cannot speak to life outside of the great Northern Capital. I have traveled extensively, and I have spent a significant amount of time in Guangdong, so I may know a little more than most, but the more time I spend here the more I come to realize that if anything, I am moving farther away from the truth of life in China.

I believe this because China is a vast nation, full of a myriad of peoples all with different cultures and languages. China is simply a big place, and to claim knowledge about the whole of this wondrous nation is to claim a falsehood. Anyone who says that they can speak to the idea of "life in China", including Chinese people, is probably lying, at least to themselves. How can anyone claim to know what life is like in a country that spans over nine million kilometers, with a population of almost 1.5 billion; a country of steppes, deserts, jungles and plains. A nation of 56 ethnic groups and at least 292 currently spoken languages. A place of literature, opera, martial arts, monumental architecture and a deep history that spans the entirety of the human race. The world is recapitulated within the bounds of China.

What I can speak to, sort of, is what life is like as an American living in Beijing, and it is a truly amazing thing. I have had experiences which I could have not possibly engaged in back home; I have laughed, cried, loved, been sick, healthy, drunk, sober, on subways deep underground and mountain tops that soared into the sky. I have been to high level government functions and low life dive bars. I wake up every morning and look out onto a sea of high rise buildings that stretch for miles to far off beautiful mountain ranges. I take one of the largest subway systems in the world to friends houses, where I walk through neighborhoods that are hundreds of years old, filled with temples that count centuries as we count years. I hear dozens of languages spoken daily, by people from a hundred different cultures exchanging a thousand different ideas. Life in Beijing is life in the truest sense of the word; when a man is tired of Beijing, he is tired of life.

Living here fulfills something in my heart that was lacking in my birth nation, something I can't think to describe. If America was China I lived in 2nd Tier City; not too big, not too small, but not really too much going on in terms of life, culture, the arts or a party scene. I guess it's just that Beijing has what was lacking in my old home, but it can't be just that, there is still something more in the back of my mind telling that Beijing is more than that. I mean, it's Beijing! An ancient capital of two dynasties, a republican government and a communist government. The history is literally dripping off the walls here. The arts scene is great and is filled with countless local bands and traditional artists that explore there talents freely in a city welcoming of such endeavors. And the party scene, well it is damn crazy; bars clubs and everything in between exist here to fulfill the wildest hedonistic dreams of foreigners and locals alike. We have high culture, low life, mega shopping malls and small boutiques, ancient temples and brand new apartment buildings. Beijing has everything that anyone could possibly want or need. I almost forgot about the food; the culinary scene here is nuts. We have all four major styles of Chinese cuisine present in the city, the ubiquitous Peiking Duck, and of course, all the foreign fare you could possibly imagine. I discovered my new favorite cuisine here in Beijing, Pakistani cuisine, something I would have never had the chance to try back home.

Life in Beijing is like life nowhere else on this glorious planet of ours. I love it here, I love it so deeply I cannot imagine how to possibly put into words. Everyday I wake up in Beijing is another day in which I am happy to be alive. I sometimes still cry when I think about the fact that I actually live in Beijing. Like Dr. Seuss said, you know life is good when you don't want to sleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

Just look at the beauty I am lucky enough to live amongst. I love my city and am proud to call it home.

On the Dreaded and Awful No Why

There is no single phrase in the Chinese or English language as infuriating as 'No Why'. Anyone who has lived in China will immediately recognize the phrase and have thoughts stirred in their mind concerning the times when all they wanted was an explanation or a little bit of information only to met with this ridiculousness. I hate 'no why', I hate it with every fiber of my being, but like winter, I have learned to accept it as a part of life in Beijing.

When I first moved to Beijing several years ago I had a local friend who was very open and honest when asked questions by a dumb fresh foreigner like myself. He was quite candid and understood the world in terms beyond those of many other Chinese people, and had a particular knack for explaining those odd aspects of Chinese culture in Western terms. Him and I would often take smoke breaks together and speak very honestly about our own cultures, and try to honestly answer each others' questions about our own cultures. I was fresh off the boat, so my questions were almost non-stop and revolved around everything from food and sight seeing, to people spitting indoors and certain people relieving themselves in full view of public. He was great, he would take my stupid questions in stride and always offered me great answers and advice that made living in China then and now much easier.

He would often laugh at my questions, and asked me why I was so curious about what he thought were odd topics, but he always answered me as best he could, and as honestly as he could. But one day as we were speaking he said this to me: "You have been here for a few months now, and understand China a little bit better, but something you have to know about living here is that the less you ask 'why', the easier your life will be". I asked him what he meant and he told me that most Chinese people don't think in such terms as Americans do; there is no 'why', things exist they way they are because that is the way they are supposed to be. When I stopped asking 'why' all the time, I could stop focusing on cultural and societal aspects I didn't understand and start living life. But I couldn't accept what he told me, I am curious by nature and if someone tells me not to ask 'why', then my want to know 'why' grows exponentially.

I have never stopped asking 'why' as long as have been here, but the more Chinese people I meet and the more of the language I learn, the more I encounter the infamous 'no why'. I just want to know 'why' certain things exist the way the do, nothing has arisen miraculously un-evloved in its' most current form, everything evolves and comes from something which existed earlier, so there needs must be an answer to every 'why' I could ever think to ask. But not in the minds of many people I have met in Beijing.

9 times out of 10 when I ask a local a 'why' question I am immediately met with a 'no why', which makes me want to go on a "No Why Rampage" across this city. Let's look at some recent highlights of the 'no why' extravaganza that is my life in Beijing:

Me: "Why is there a separation between the color qing and the color blue?"
Girlfriend: "No why."

Me: "Why is there no cover over the stairwell into the subway station? Every time it rains it floods the subway here."
Subway Employee: "No why."

Me: "Why are you cutting those plastics bags in half?"
Friend: "No why."

Me: "Why aren't you serving these dishes today?"
Waitress: "No why."

Me: "Why are they beating that man?"
Bystander: "No why."

So I must surmise that the Chinese people just wanted two words for the same color, the subway department of Beijing doesn't care about subway flooding, my friends likes to cut plastic bags in half for no reason, restaurants have a random schedule of dishes served, and that bouts of random violence occur in Beijing...

I just want to know why, is that so much to ask? I think it must be. So why are Chinese people so adverse to answering 'why' questions? Well, no why.

On Life in The Heart of Darkness and Toxic Expats

Though I think the term 'Heart of Darkness' was adeptly use to describe the setting of Conrad's novella, I believe that it describes Beijing equally well. This city is constantly polluted, dreary, filled with misanthropic people and counterfeit products; it can all be very disappointing and underwhelming. But when confronted with such thoughts concerning the negative aspects of life in this city, I have to remind myself that I am often guilty of projecting my inner negative feelings onto the world at large. I also have to remember that I live in Beijing, so Beijing is an easy target for me to project my negative thoughts and feelings on. Finally I must understand that Beijing houses a culture, language and people much different from my own, and it is no one's fault but my own when I can't cope with my own negativity.

I have been wanting to pen something along these lines for quite sometime, as I constantly meet people that have lived in China for years but seem to despise it. Such expats have always blown my mind; why would you go on living in a place that you hate, especially since you are a foreigner and can leave whenever you would like? If I could slip back into negativity for a moment: I think those people are simply bitter because they have realized that they are unemployable in their countries of origin and must remain in China is they wish to work a non-entry level job for the rest of their lives.

I have lived in Beijing for 3.5 years and in that time I have met some of the most amazing, fun, intelligent, crazy, wild, beautiful, amazing expats from around the globe. They have taught about life in China and in general, about love and relationships, about navigating Chinese culture, and also about what bars have the best booze, where I could buy legitimate non-counterfeit condoms, and how to stay out of a Chinese prison. 99% of these people have become my friends because they are awesome in their own right and have much to teach, and I of course enjoy their company. But the other 1% of expats I have met are those that give the rest of us a bad name because they do nothing but wallow in their own self pity, all the while defaming China and its' people.

Life here can be wonderful if you let it be; this is China, after all! When I walk around Beijing I pass brand new Starbuck's across the street from 1000 year old temples. In Beijing over the course of one day I hear languages spoken from all over this planet, I see people from far off countries I will never visit, I eat at wonderful restaurants and experience cuisine from all over this planet. I also meet wonderful local and foreign people that make my time here truly worth living. So what is it about some expats that turns them toxic? What is so bad about the land of the dragon that would make someone hate their adoptive nation?

I admit, I have "bad China days", we all do. Sometimes I hate everyone and everything in this country, but then I just need to remind myself that I am projecting my negative inner thoughts onto Beijing, eat some American food, and watch some Always Sunny and such thoughts pass pretty quickly.

So again, what is it exactly that causes such hatred towards this amazing place in some expats? I assume a large portion of the hatred comes from the end of the honeymoon period that most, if not all, expats experience after first having moved to a new country. My honeymoon period lasted for about the first 10 or 12 months after I arrived in Beijing; I loved Beijing and was enamored by the Chinese culture and people daily, I couldn't get enough of it. But after that period ended in my mind I didn't slip into oppression as I had a good job, a great network of friends, and an amazing girlfriend. All of this worked to help me cope with the fact that I was just living in China, not some mythical magical wonderland wherein I could fulfill all of my expat fantasies. I have, however, see some people crash and burn after the end of the honeymoon; most of them simply left and went back home, but some of them hung around and let the ensuing negativity rule there lives.

Another major reason for the toxic expat phenomena is that many of us come here with grand ideas in our minds ranging from sexpat fantasies and conquering the Orient, to living life in a quaint, culturally and technologically backwards country where we will be viewed as some kind of foreign god. I have to admit, when I first came here I had no conception of modern China and thought I was coming to a hutong filled city where martial artists where going to be flying from rooftop to rooftop engaging in epic sword fights; I thought I was coming to the set of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. I wasn't totally disappointed as I get my fair share of hutong revelry, but I do still sort of wish that I was in early 20th century Beijing as opposed to 2016 Beijing. Even now I have fantasies about living in times long past. But I have never allowed such wants to affect how I feel about living in modern Beijing, because at the end of the day I live in one of the most amazing cities in the whole world; I live in Beijing, one of the great capitols of this planet.

A large number of complaints I see arising from toxic expats concern race and culture, not their own of course, but the race and culture of the Chinese people. This sort of post-colonial racism always blew my mind; if they hate Chinese people then why are they living in China? I have to imagine that such racism isn't born inside them after they move here, I would imagine that such racist thoughts have always existed inside their hearts yet only grow after they have lived in China for some time. These people make me insane and sicken me, how dare they harbor racist thoughts against the people of their host country, and how dare they voice those thoughts to other expats that only wish to live here in peace. If you have spent any time in the bar scene around Yong He Yong, you will inevitably run into people like this: the expats that bitch and moan about how backwards and rude the Chinese people are, about how the food is awful, the government corrupt, the city filthy. I do think some of these things sometimes, not overtly racist thoughts, but about the people being rude and the city being filthy. But, as always, I have to remind myself that I am not Chinese, that no matter how long I live here I will always be a tourist in their culture, and I cannot possibly understand their motives in terms of their actions within the context of Chinese culture.

I am honestly running out of fuel talking about this; I don't even know why I wanted to write this article in the first place because I am getting angry about these toxic expats. But a long time ago I learned not to associate with such people anymore; one of the things that makes this city so wonderful is the group of amazing friends I have, they truly make life worth living in Beijing.

Forgive the Weird Writing Style, For Now.

It has been a very, very long time since I have written in this sort of essay format, so forgive me if I trail off at times or if the writing just seems a bit weird. Give me a couple more posts to find my voice and really settle back into this style; I promise that every article I post will be better than the last.

Thanks for reading, I really do appreciate your time.

- Joseph